stuck on you

i'm so confused. eversince our "misunderstanding" last christmas season, we've never been the same. it's so hard keeping a relationship without trust and self-interest. we tried to heal the wounds but the scar had become a dark, plump keloid.

i just texted her minutes ago with a message that says "break na tayo" if you dig deep on its meaning. i just can't say it to her directly because a par of me still wants her but my mind says end it. it's so hard when your four decision-making bodies (heart=i want; mind=i need; soul=i must; body=i can) all point to a different direction. i' so confused, i don't know if what i'm feeling for her is still love. regret. craving. pity.

i have this song in my mind... it's by 3 days grace

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don’t miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Only when I stop to think
About you, I know
Only when you stop to think
About me, do you know

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me

I hate
You hate
I hate
You love me

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you