eureka moment!

hey, i have something to write at all! this few days have been very fun (and money-eating).

friday: My parents picked me up after work. we dropped by la salle to pick up my sister then we headed straight to greenbelt. twas out first time to go to greenbelt as a family, our objective, to buy my sis her holy grail, an iPOD nano. her birthday's coming anyway. after we got the coveted gadget, we dined at Italiani's (another first) and boy, was that chilled sicillian salad in dijon sauce great!

saturday: a thesis day. (unproductive at all)

sunday: after hearing mass in phil-am, we went straight to greenhills to canvass for a laptop and a new phone for my father. grabe! after almost 4 years, i finally got a chance to go back there. (during my sophomore year, i go to greenhills weekly to buy magic cards and anime CDs). a funny but cool thing happened to me that day. while we were inquiring for the laptop prices, one saleslady asked my mother

"Ma'am la salle po si sir diba?"
"Oo, paano mo nalaman?"
"Suki po kasi yan sa PC rentals namin dun sa tapa ng la salle, sa TAZZ. araw-araw po yan nandun!"

My mom gave a me a cold stare... so that's where you have been spending your allowance. hehe!

monday: my sister's birthday and again, they picked me up at work. we had dinner at dencio's and was i full?! the moment we arrived home, a horrifying news welcomed us. one of my titos passed away while playing badminton. a massive heart attack, he was a very sporty man in his early forties who play basketball and badminton twice a week and bowling during weekends. a shocking surprise (redundancy required).

tuesday: my father's birthday and for the third time, they dropped by kraft to get me. i think i'm starting to be dependent to them once again. hehe! i have forgotten what it feels like to ride a jeep back home. well, we decided to have a light dinner at figaro's. i ordered pasta al tonno (tuna, black olives, capers and parsley in olive oil sauce), grilled eggplant panini and a garden salad. i'm trying to shift to a healthier lifestyle fearing possible heart ailments common to our family.

today: ... blog day

writer's drought

everytime i log on to my pc, i start by checking mail then logging on to my internet accounts, one of them, this blog; the misadventures of droz.

there are times when a myriad of ideas and stories gushing-out like water flowing from a mighty river, overwhelms me. plain stories come to life by vivid images causeded by a rich collection of adjectives, tons of gobbledygook and exaggeration. there are also times when little or no though at all comes out of my mind; like a tired, wasted and uninspired composer on a cold, damp dawn, bottoms-up on a bottle of gin like there's no tomorrow. a dripping faucet of ideas compared to a raging river.

these past few weeks, i have been like that dripping faucet in a water-deprived bf parañaque home (all those who can relate, gimme a "HELL YEAH!"). all dried out of fresh ideas. parched and thirsting for something exciting to happen.

material safety data sheet (MSDS)

waterworld

as i sing the chorus of my band's latest single, one of the girls in front of the stage jumped up and grabbed the fringes of my leather pants. my god! i almost fell off the stage. luckily the crowd control dude saved me. whew! it really was a manic thursday night. the air was so thick you could slice it with a knife. and man, was i tense! the crowd was going wild when they heard the intro of our top-charter. ah.. the life of a rockstar. but it ain't always pretty after the show. after being drowned by booze, smoked alive by your own bandmate's cigars, jelly-legged because of a night of pumping and gyration. when suddenly...

andro! gumising ka na. tulungan mo kami sa baba. tumaas na yung baha. malapit na pumasok sa bahay!
nanay naman!

man! that's one way to spoil a nice, deep sleep...

well, i really have no choice but to get up and help them. it's all because of the perfect location of our house. south china sea 300m-west, zapote river 250m-south. combine that location with heavy downpour of rain and the 3-in-the-morning high-tide, instant waterworld! i wish i grew gills... sheeez!



after two hours of evacuating the lower part of our house (yup, lifting the not-so-mini components, 2 huge refs, 2 sofa sets, a heavy-assed tv, tons of receipts and papers, boxes galore with unknown contents, name it!) , a major slip which made me fall chest and face first from the wet, sludgy floor, i finally got my well-deserved (really needed) continuation of my dream.

alas! it wasn't the same dream!! where's a dream-catcher when i need one?!

amoy clorox...

yamang dust ka din lamang

ang bagong tele-nobela na inyong aabangan...

safeguard

ano ba tong nagawa ng safeguard sakin? bakit kaya hindi ako maka-ligo pag hindi safeguard yung gamit ko? feeling ko hindi ako lumilinis. ano ba talaga kaibahan nito sa ibang sabon? superior skin germ protection? yung guarantee nila na 99.9% ng germs mo sa katawan kaya nila tanggalin? yung 24 hour period na mamamatay yung germs na dadapo sayo? bakit ba ganun? PUTA!! e pare-pareho naman yung ingredients nun sa ibang sabon. tsaka bakit kailangan WHITE soap yung gamitin? may mga kagaya ko ba dito? ewan ko lang ah, kakaiba kasi sila mag-commercial e. kahit na sobran pauli-ulit lang yung ginagawa nila. wala namang creativity, wala namang sikat na artista, wala man lang paputok o visual effect kundi yung KONSYENSYA mong nagsasabi na safeguard yung bilihin mo. eto yung mga classic na examples ng commercials nila na mula pa nineteen-kopong-kopong...

1. may putok si mister at nahihiya ka at baka mapansin ng boss nya yung maasim-asim na amoy... (enter conscience) hoy babae, safeguard gamitin mo kasi may superior skin germ protection na lalaban sa putok ng mister mo. (enter scene with boss) aba, inamoy-amoy na siya ni kalbuhing bossing, na-promote pa!

2. may sugat na hindi gumagaling si bunsoy at iyak siya ng iyak kasi masakit daw, nagnanana, may tren at pari na lumalabas sa sugat nya... (enter conscience) itapon mo na yang sabong panlaba, eto safeguard para gumaling yung sugat ng anak mo at hindi pa mag-peklat. (naglalaro ulit si bunsoy) proud na proud si nanay kasi mabilis tumakbo yung anak nya habang hinahabol ng mga batang basagulero.

3. may ga-alatires na tigyawat si dalagita. iyak siya ng iyak at depressed kasi may date siya bukas with nardo... (enter consicence) kasi naman hindi yang bareta mo ang hiyang sa balat ni diday. safeguard ang gamitin mo, approved pa ng PAMET. e nay, ano ba yung PAMET? wala namang ganun e. inimbento lang ni safeguard yun para naka-benta sila. para lang yang MCNAP ng pampers at PDA ng colgate. putang ina! gusto mo bang mawala yang tigyawat mo? (enter poging-poging nardo) haaay... sa ganda ni diday, nawala tuloy ang virginity (blame it on safeguard)

pero buo parin ang loob ko, safeguard parin ang sabong gagamitin ko. nakakapaputi pa yung safeguard papaya. watch out april boy!

misadventures gone interactive

if a pinoy band tried emulate this band (MARILYN MANSON), what names do you think will they use? hehe! post your suggestions...
(sexy starlet + rapist)

1. KEANA ECHEGARAY

ideation 05

ideation? what is ideation? actually, its just another coined term here which means "idea generation". talk about cost cutting! hehe! cutting a term short to save printer ink, paper and labor. well, this was done last friday. a day for brainstorming (literally). it was pretty fun. using the gym as venue was neat-O! how many times could you see respectable managers playing dodgeball? running around like kids? how about doing flying kicks?

supermodels + serial killers = satanism

this could be one of the sickest thing you'll ever hear your whole life. ..
i had a dream last night seeing the rapids then i got washed up in a beach made of cocaine. the sky was made of LSD. and every tree was marijuana. then the cops pulled me over, they did not arrest me. instead they s*cked my d*ck! then God came down from the sky above and said, "Marilyn Manson from now on you would no longer spell God, G-O-D." i said, "so, God, how do you you want me to spell it?" he said, "gimme a D, gimme an R, gimme a Uuuuu, gimme a Geeeeee... how do you spell it? DRUG, DRUG, DRUG!!" ---i don't like the drugs intro

marilyn manson (and the spooky kids) is the band that spoke of nothing other than sex, drugs, hate and satanism; talk about freedom of speech! example...

1. i don't like the drugs (but the drugs like me)
2. antichrist superstar
3. cake and sodomy
4. shitty chicken gang bang
5. irresponsible hate anthem ...and the list continues

the band members got their names from female supermodels and demented serial killers. (x = ex-bandmate)

1. marilyn manson (marilyn monroe and the lovable charlie manson)
x 2. daisy berkowitz (sizzling-hot daisy fuentes and david "son of sam" berkowitz)
3. madonna wayne-gacy (timeless madonna and chicago's pride, john wayne-gacy jr.)
4. twiggy ramirez (twiggy and night stalker richard ramirez)
x 5. gidget gein (gidget and buffalo bill's eddie gein)
x 6. sara lee lucas ("the" sara lee and henry lee lucas)

other members are zim zum and john 5 and i don't know where the hell their names came from. hehe!

they are just plain sick! DISPOSABLE, according to one of their songs.

more(ON) reasons...

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
[Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
[Evidently, the shoplifter special]

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
[And that would be how...?]

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
[Butit's *just* a suggestion]

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down".
[Oops, too late!]

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
[As sure as night follows the day . .. ..]

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
[But wouldn't this save even more time?]

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
[We could do a lot toreduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness"
[One would hope]

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
[As opposed to what?]

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
[I gotta admit, I'm curious].

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts".
[NEWS FLASH!!]

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
[Step 3: Fly Delta]

14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
[I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]

the land of the free, home of the brave

guys, i have nothing against America fyi... this is just so funny! hehe!
(things inside this are my personal comments)

1. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
(and they also supersize their DIET cokes to half a gallon)

2. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
(freshness guaranteed!)

3. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
(hey! how about handicap spectators?)

4. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
(shame on you! but only in the philippines are there wheelchair ramps with a 45-degree slope!)

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
(you can't place the bank inside your pocket could you?)

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
(yabang!)

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
(make up your mind white ass!)

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
(some like their hotdogs on stick, others between their buns... that didn't sound right...)

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
(asteeeeeg! here in the philippines we spell president, PRESCEDENT)

10. Only in America......do they have drive-thru ATM machines with Braille lettering.
(hey! you're blind! what are you doing there?!)